How To Find A Relationship (Teenagers)

Also read article Where Can I Find Love
High school can be a very tough time for queer teenagers, no matter what your identity. In addition to the struggles everyone goes through to find an identity and a niche in high school, queer teens have to think about how to define themselves, coming out, homophobia, and a host of other unique issues. It may be hard to find a relationship when you aren't sure how to define yourself, or how to meet other queer teens, but it's not impossible.

Steps

1. Discover your own identity. It takes time to figure out who you are, and in the queer community there's even more pressure to have a rigid, fixed identity with a label like "gay," "bi," "trans," "lesbian," or "bisexual." Don't worry if you're not quite sure what word to use, or if the words you use change over time. You can use words like "queer," "pansexual," "questioning," or "gender fluid." You also don't have to base who you're interested in on gender. Just ask yourself some basic questions, like:
   
   • Who am I looking for in a relationship? Is gender important? If so, what gender(s) do I prefer?
     
   • Is it important to me to claim a particular identity?
     
   • Do I want to come out? If I'm out, or plan to be, does the person I date need to be out, too?
     
   • How comfortable am I with PDA? Some queer teens may want to be out at school and to their families, and others may not. Decide this before you enter a relationship.
     
   • Is it important to me that someone I'm with affirm my gender and/or sexuality? This may be particularly important if you're trans- or bisexual-identified and might end up in what looks like a "straight" relationship.
     
2. Meet other queer teenagers and allies. If you live in a queer-friendly community, or go to a queer-friendly school, this may be easy. But if you don't, you'll need to meet people before you can look for potential dates. Search the web for any local queer youth groups or meet-ups, or if there are none available, try social justice groups or arts groups for teenagers. Often, though not always, queer teens get involved in politically liberal causes and the arts, which have typically been queer-friendly spaces. Feminist groups also tend to be particularly queer friendly. Dating websites are another place to meet, but spend time chatting first before you meet in person, and always meet in a public place first.
   
3. Be open about your identity and availability in ways that make sense to you. Everyone is different. Some people want to shout about their queerness from the rooftops, while others are painfully shy. If you want to date someone who knows that you're queer, whether a same-sex relationship or not, you need to be open about your identity to some extent. But how you do that is up to you. You can come out entirely at school, or in your community but not at school, or you can spread the word in some other way--letting close friends know, for example, or being active on the Internet as a queer teen. You never know whether a Twitter follower or blog reader in your town might start crushing on you if you come out online, and in some ways these venues are safer than being open at school or around town.
   

Tips

• Friends first is usually the easiest way to meet other queer people. Unfortunately, when you're a teenager, it's hard to find dates safely because many queer meeting places are adults-only. Youth groups are oriented towards friendship, but those friendships can easily evolve into relationships over time.
  
• Safety first. If you date online, make sure you get to know someone first and meet in a public place before you give out any personal information. Don't come out to your family, friends, or teachers if you think you might be physically harmed, financially abandoned, or emotionally attacked. Take things at your own pace. Look for a friendly mentor who can help you if things get rough. It's never your responsibility to tell a boyfriend or girlfriend that you're queer, but make sure you're safe if you're coming out to someone who doesn't know about your sexuality or gender identity.
  
• If you're outgoing and want to come out, but don't know any queer youth in your area, consider starting a group of your own. You can post anonymous flyers or start a Facebook group to see if there's interest before you hold a meeting. You might be surprised!

Find Me Someone To Love

Also read article Where Can I Find Love

It's easy to make someone fall in love with you. Just follow these simple steps and you'll be on you're way to finding the perfect man/woman.

Steps

1. Love yourself. Whether you're goofy, silly, crazy, quirky, smart, or reserved. How can you expect a person to love you if you feel unlovable? You have to show this person how awesome you are, but first you need to know how awesome you are. Build up your self-confidence.This means getting to a place where you're comfortable in your own skin. You can be secure, sweet and humble all at the same time.
   
2. Share a good laugh. It's been said that laughter is the sound of love. If you share many laughs together, you're both going to be a lot more receptive to love. However, don't put on a show, or make yourself a clown just to make someone laugh. The best laughs are spontaneous, and result from having a positive attitude towards life.
   
3. Pace yourself. You might be crazy about this person, but if you want a steady kind of love (rather than a fling that flares and fades quickly) then you're going to need to be patient and take your time. Don't be obsessive or suffocating. Give him or her the time to think about what life could be like with you by their side. You can't force someone to love you, and trying to hurry things up can ruin the courtship altogether. Let things progress at a natural pace, or fade out of natural causes.
   
4. Get to know the person inside out. Always be accepting and open-minded. He or she will sense this and feel like you're the only person who truly knows them, and thus, the only person they can be their uninhibited selves around.
   

Tips

• Learning unconditional love is the key to making someone fall in love with you.
  
• Mastering your expectations will determine how deeply you can love.
  
• The more you learn to Love Unconditionally, the more Love you will have in your life.
  
• You will be a stronger person after you master this principle.
  

Warnings

• Before trying this exercise, take a good look at the person you will be trying this technique with. You will want a person of good character, with good morals, who will be receptive to you as a human being.
  
• Maybe a friend would be good to try it with; but remember if you are sending out love to a friend - your friend may very well fall in love with you - so do not ruin a good friendship if you can not carry out your love for your friend.
  
• Be selective, this is really an exercise for you and about you gaining more control over your love life and life in general. Use good judgment when practicing this technique.
  
• If you do fall in love, be careful because you might give them your heart and they might not want it. There's always a chance your heart will be broken.
  
• If that person is mean to you and you like that person you have little chance.

Trying To Find Love

Also read the article Where Can I Find Love
Finding love nowadays appears to be easy. You look the part, you play the part and bang - there it is! But can you keep it?

Steps

1. Don't expect them to fit all the qualities you have on your list and make sure you are yourself all those things you want your partner to be.
   
2. Don't waste your efforts trying to change your partner. If you can't cope with his/her imperfections move on - don't stick around bullying him/her into changing into something he's/she's not. If you are unable to allow your partner to be as imperfect as you are, just move on.
   
3. No relationship is perfect but it shouldn't be hard work either. Compromise, communication, respect for each other, and fun, fun, fun, are the essential ingredients of a healthy relationship.
   
4. Allow them to be who they truly are - to express themselves freely. Express their passions, their dreams, their feelings, their needs, their insecurities, their emotions without having the fear of being judged or ridiculed by you.
   
5. Only by allowing them to be who they really are you will know you are in love with the right person.
   

Tips

• Keep in mind these simple rules:
  
• Don't do to your partner what you wouldn't like him/her to do to you.
  
• Don't say to your partner things you wouldn't like him/her to say to you.
  

Warnings

• In the first three months of a relationship you should have an idea whether it will be a harmonious one and within five months you should know whether you would like to make further commitments.
  
• If during this time you get obvious warning signs of serious mismatching characters - don't waste your or your partner's time - be true to yourself and to your partner and walk away.
  

Love Help

Also read the article Where Can I Find Love

Guys! If you have ever fallen in love, then you know that you can feel 'happy' or 'miserable'. If you don't take the chance then you will never know how a loving feeling feels.

Steps

1. Love Before following any of these steps ask yourself if you trust your boy/girl friend. You have to trust then before you fall in love, don't fear it. falling in love is an amazing thing. You have to accept the fact that you ARE in love. Don't judge this person for the mistake that your ex has made in the past.
   
2. First you have to show him/her that you're comfortable with him, because if you're awkward with your boy/girlfriend you might unknowningly push him/her away because he'll think in his head that you don't care for him.
   
3. Second: Try to commit yourself to your lover ; but be careful, don't get clingy, because if you do you may push him away. Commit to him, focus on making your relationship stonger . For example, don't flirt around with other girl/boys; be true to your lover. That will help your relationship so much.
   
4. Third: Show him that you care for him as much as he cares for you. Love him, kiss him, hug him. Give him/her butterflies .
   

Tips

• If you really love that girl, try to get her back. Do not beg, just talk to her, and see if there is a chance of getting together again. If she says no, then accept it and go on.
  
• Do not let the circumstances from a past love make you fearful of loving someone new.
  
• Truly, there are 2 forms of "love." A strong, long-lasting one and a short, but initially just as strong love. Before you make the decision that you really do love this person, give it some time and a lot of thought.
  
• Understand that with love comes a chance of getting hurt, but you will know if it is worth it by how you feel. No one ever forgets their first love, but they also can't wait.
  
• If they dont take you back once you've talked about it its time to move on. You were not meant to be together. There are many simple ways to get over him/her like going on a dating website or a club and meet people. You never know what could happen.
  

Warnings

• Girls/guys might be playing games with you. Some enjoy making a guy love them, so that they can break up with them. Be aware of this. Listen with your ears, and not your heart, and be patient for your true love.
  
• If you sense that she/he is not being truthful, then accept your feelings. Get out and meet someone else. But don't "just" do it. What if you're wrong? Be sure.
  
• Don't confuse a really good friendship with falling in love. Sometimes a good friendship will lead to falling in love, but if you tell your very good guy/girl friend that you love them, it could really complicate your relationship!

Where Can I Find Love

If you don't feel like reading then click on Where Can I Find Love to find love


Many people feel that there's one person out there who can enrich your life in a way that no one else can. If this is true, how can you increase your chances of finding this person? And when you meet him or her, how will you know it's your soulmate?

Steps

1. Make yourself a better person. Instead of waiting for your soulmate to appear, make yourself apparent to him or her. Become the spectacular human being you want to be. Expressing your individuality is the closest you can come to advertising your soulmate potential. Not only will you stand out, but you'll also be doing things that are more likely to bring you closer to your soulmate, who probably has similar interests and goals.
   
2. Remember that your soulmate might not be what you expect. If there's only one person in the world who can be your soulmate, what are the chances that she'll live in your town, look like the people you grew up with, or even speak the same language? If you're expecting your soulmate to be love at first sight, you might never find what you're looking for. So keep an open mind. Part of the romance of having a soulmate is being pleasantly surprised.
   
3. Be patient. Fate doesn't work on a schedule. Your soulmate might cross your path when you're 8 or 80 years old. Yes, you might look forward to spending the majority of your life with your soulmate--perhaps buying a house, getting married, starting a family--but it may or may not be in the cards. A soulmate isn't always a lifemate. Your soulmate will color your world no matter how old you are, so don't rush into things, or else you might end up forcing the wrong person into the soulmate box, which will cause pain for everyone involved.
   
4. Accept people for who they are, not who you want them to be. When you've got all these fantasies flying around in your head about how wonderful and special your soulmate will be, it can be easy to look for those specific characteristics and features in anyone you get involved with. Unfortunately, unrealistic expectations can ruin a relationship, and might even chase your soulmate away. Whoever it is that you think might be your soulmate, appreciate their individuality and trust that if this person is your soulmate, they'll never need to change who they are for you, just like you'll never need to change who you are for them.
   
5. Weather the storms. Contrary to what popular media would have you believe, meeting your soulmate doesn't guarantee "happily ever after." Things won't get easier when you find that special someone and in fact, they might get even harder. Ultimately, a soulmate is someone you can grow with, and the only way to grow together is to face challenges together. So if you put your heart and soul into a relationship, stick with it through the ups and downs, even when you question whether it's meant to be, and you might look back decades later and realize that you were with your soulmate all along.
   

Tips

• Find yourself before you find your soulmate. Once you're happy with yourself, a soulmate will make you even happier, but no one can fill a void created by not knowing who you are. Only you can do that.
  
• The more people you meet, the more likely you are to meet your soulmate, so try and talk to as many people as possible. You never know if the next person you talk to could be your soulmate.
  
• Pursue interests and activities that mean a lot to you. The Internet has made this a whole lot easier. Check forums, listings, classifieds, and Internet mailing lists (known as "listservs") for local events or meetings that are likely to attract people with similar interests or passions.
  
• Don't be too picky. If you keep holding out for the perfect person, you're guaranteed to miss out. If you're in a room full of people with similar interests, you should be able to pick out one or two people who you'd like to date--not 10, not 0. Make it a point to not leave the event without showing interest and making a connection with a few people.
  
• When you meet someone who feels like soulmate potential, don't get carried away. It's so easy to get lost in fantasies of how awesome your relationship might be, but with those fantasies come high expectations, and sometimes those expectations are unrealistic! Make it a point to remind yourself that this new person is human, which means they're not perfect. They will make mistakes, and you need to be ready to cope and forgive, rather than act shocked that the person dares to be anything but perfect.
  
• While you're waiting for your soulmate, people might question why you're single. They might even imply that something is "wrong" with you if you're "still" single. Brace yourself for that kind of ignorance. Remember that you don't have to defend your being single, just like it's rude to attack the validity of someone's relationship.
  
• Have you ever wanted or looked for something, but only found it when you stopped looking? The same principle might work for finding your soulmate. Become so busy with your life that you totally forget about meeting your soulmate and, odds are, that's when your soulmate will pop up.
  
• Another tip would be to NOT date the same person five times. Even if he/she is your soulmate/love-of-your-life the fact that you broke up fives times says a lot. Just move on. Stop thinking about this person and questioning "what if?" because chances are that if you didn't get those "what ifs?" answered in the five times you were together, it's not going to work out a sixth time.
  

Warnings

• If you're with someone who is manipulative or abusive in any way, rest assured that you are NOT with your soulmate. Break it off as quickly as possible, or else you might never meet your soulmate because you're too busy dealing with an unhealthy relationship.
  
• Don't obsess over finding your soulmate. Coming off as needy and desperate for love is not attractive to a soulmate--or anyone else, for that matter!
  
• Don't confuse chemistry with destiny. When you meet someone you're intensely attracted to, everything in your body could be telling you that this is your soulmate, but that could be hormones and lust talking. Remember that your soulmate could be someone who you already know but never even considered romantically.
  
• There's a danger in being so idealistic that you overlook basic safety precautions and red flags. Remember that there are still hurtful people out there who will take advantage of your hopefulness and use it against you. If, for example, all your friends and family think a particular person is not a good match for you, don't brush them off. They might be onto something.

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